Charming, exuberant and lively? You must own a border terrier

Name: Dog owners

Age: The domestication of wolves began 30,000-40,000 years ago.

Appearance: Quite like their pets, in many cases.

Is this a whole Pass notes about how dog owners come to look like their dogs? No, it’s about how they act like their dogs.

You mean they end up chasing cars and eating shoes? No. Remarkably, they share certain personality traits with their pets, according to new research by the Kennel Club.

Research, is it? Yes, the study ranked poll results from 1,500 dog owners against their chosen breed – revealing startling similarities.

Can you give me an example? Of course. According to the findings, jack russell owners are loyal and faithful. And good listeners.

Just like jack russells. Exactly. On the other hand, people who own border terriers were shown to be charming, exuberant and lively.

Exuberant and lively mean the same thing. And owners of springer spaniels were among the most traditional, reserved and punctual, in common with their pets.

How can a dog be described as punctual? Have you ever known a springer spaniel to be late for anything?

And traditional? Are these dogs monarchists or something? The owners are traditional. And the springer is a traditional breed.

That’s like saying, “I like lemonade, so I bought these lemons, therefore I have a lot in common with citrus fruit.” Meanwhile, staffordshire bull terrier owners were found to be affectionate and trustworthy.

This is stupid. This is science.

If it’s so scientific, how come no negative qualities are listed? What do you mean?

Why did no dog owners describe themselves as needy and inclined to roll in fox poo? I don’t think rolling in fox poo counts as a personality trait.

You haven’t met my dog. I can see you find it hard to accept that a dog owner might unconsciously seek out a like-minded breed.

I just think people who incorrectly attribute positive qualities to themselves invariably go on to incorrectly attribute those same qualities to their dogs. You’re forgetting about the control group.

What control group? Celebrities.

Celebrities? The Prince and Princess of Wales, for example, have a cocker spaniel. And just like cocker spaniels, they love to help others.

Uncanny. I know! Oprah has one too!

Do say: “In common with my chosen breed of dog, I am covered in dog hair.”

Don’t say: “Like my dog, I can get overexcited when meeting new people. I didn’t break the skin, did I?”